If unsubstantiated predictions are anything to go by, the future of rugby union in this country is looking up, thanks to a cluster of ‘highly-skilled’ 8-10 year old players from the 4007 catchment. With absolutely no precedent, the 2031 Wallaby World Cup winning side looks set to be 95 percent from Ascot, according to their averagely talented parents.
‘It’s actually uncanny, the talent pool in just a few streets. I see no reason why Will and his mates from under 10 Gold can’t go all the way together’ says Harriet Jones of Abbott Street.
The Ascot Observer now understands the Joneses are looking into converting their son’s bedroom to a hyperbaric chamber so he can optimise his recovery time in a saturated oxygen environment.
When asked about the plan, Will stated ‘What the fuck Mum?…Wait…can I still play fortnite in there?’
‘We’re so blessed, says Mrs Jones. ‘Nothing would make us happier than seeing him achieve our dream.’
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