Locals from Ascot, the inner-north suburb of Brisbane have submitted a formal petition to have the name of their suburb changed to ‘The Hamptons’.
Georgina and Angus Sullivan who currently reside in the suburb felt that the name is a natural progression for locals, considering 97.8% of the homes are now considered ‘Hamptons Style’. Indeed, the suburb is widely recognised for having more decorative coral per square metre than any other region in Brisbane.
‘We have a lot to thank the Hamptons for,’ Mrs Sullivan said. ‘The butlers pantry for starters. I mean, it’s great to think it’s just there you know….if we ever get a butler. I think his name would be Giles.’
‘Grey houses with white trim, cute portholes and plenty of shells are what make us feel happy’, Mrs Sullivan gushed. ‘Along with some well placed coral, subway tiles and karate chopped scatter cushions.’
The Ascot Observer understands there will be little resistance to the proposed change.
‘Basically we want to get this done quickly, before those pretenders from fucking Bulimba get the jump on us.’
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Gold!
At the rate it is going we should just re name the whole of the East Side and save money and time. Old and reproduction Queenslanders being “converted at a massive rate for fashionistas. Love Brisbane!