An Ascot woman is questioning her life choices after being cajoled, once again, into standing in front of a soulless and ugly AF fake flower wall to have her photo taken at a recent mother’s day function.
“No amount of halo lighting is lighting up the vacancy behind my eyes,” she said. “I’m unsure how I keep ending up here.”
Once the domain of spring carnival race meets and Anne Geddes calendars only, the plastic flower wall superseded the balloon arch about a two decades ago as the photographic backdrop of choice at any event with the word women, ladies or mother in it. Also, “let’s make it pink” said every event co-ordinator because it’s a function for women.
Meanwhile, event photographers are desperately trying to keep the fun alive. When asked about the appeal of the nylon flower wall, one photographer noted that middle aged women just love posing for forced photos with unnatural backdrops while half-cut on Yellow. The resulting images are just glorious.
You may even like to purchase the digital file for $67.50 and have it turned into coasters as a gift says the photographer, who is not from this planet. Or, simply buy the image and keep it buried in your icloud account until the end of Apple.
When probed, does the Ascot woman have advice for upcoming attendees of mother’s day or ladies day functions to make the flower wall any more palatable?
“Yes. Up your mushroom micro-dose.”
More to come.