A passive-aggressive mother has spoken out about the moment she realised that a packet of TimTams had made its way onto the morning tea table during a post-assembly parent and child gathering. Wedged in between the home-made mini vegan muffins, gluten-free beetroot brownies and sustainably farmed yam chips, the TimTams stood out like dogs’ balls and caused more than a few furtive glances between parents at the event.
Class parent rep, P & C treasurer, tuckshop convener and uniform shop co-ordinator Mary-Kate Mullins had this to say. ‘It’s not that hard people. I haven’t spent the past 10 years baking sugar-fee, dairy-free, gluten-free, egg-free, nut-free, high fibre, low GI organic food for my kids, to have it all turned to SHIT by some stupid cow that can’t be arsed. Everyone knows that TimTams are practically crack, and cause bipolar.’
The Observer understands ‘bring-a-plate’ guidelines will now be drafted and distributed. ‘We won’t stop until we make parents’ lives as difficult as possible,’ Ms Mullins said.
*disclosure. Mary-Kate Mullins is an authorised Thermomix consultant who doesn’t miss a chance to mention it everyday. Please contact her via email
m-k@expensiveappliances.com.au